Oh, The Wheel in the Sky Keeps on Turning...

(or, in other words, my Father in Heaven knows me really really well)

(also, 10 pts to anyone who can name the band)

I'm getting ready to finish my fourth semester at BYU-Idaho.

My FOURTH semester. I mean...I "graduate" next December. I have to start my Student Teaching Application soon. Next semester I will officially be an upperclassman and one of the oldest in the cello studio.

So many things have changed.

I'm not going to lie and say that change and I have this awesome relationship...but we don't hate each other. Basically, change is always going to be an epic mix of heartbreak, joy, excitement, and terror. It's always terrible and wonderful. It's absolutely painful and bittersweet. But it's also always going to happen. Lots of bad things have happened in my life due to change--but there have been just as many (if not more) good things.

There's lots of kinds of change. I mean, over these last 4 semesters I've definitely gotten older. I've definitely seen and done and experienced more. You can't go through college and not experience change.

But one of the meanest ways college has switched things up on me has definitely been in the personnel department.

As I've said before, 85-95% of this blog is about the people in my life. Even with all I know about people in general, I still love them. If someone is in my life, they're there for a reason. And once you're a part of my life, oh boy, you're stuck :) I care about those who are in my life intensely. I probably care too much, actually--in fact, many of my friends this semester have started referring to me (affectionately, I hope...) as "Mom." (A title I've been fighting against... until the other day in church when I actually reached into my bag for some fruit snacks to settle down my starving and restless roommate.)

But, I digress.

So here's the thing: college is pretty rough, people-wise. In high school, you pretty much knew that you were all stuck there together until graduation, and then the likelihood you'd end up at the same college as a few of your friends was pretty high. It's not like that anymore. The frequency with which people move in and out of your life is terrifying. There's no way you'll end up graduating with all of the people you know in college, unless you started the same semester together--and even then, it's a little sketchy. And when people move on from college, they move on into their lives. They don't just stay in the same place. They go to grad school at least 3 hours away. They end up with the jobs of their dreams. They get married, have babies, and move across the country.



And you can't even be upset about it, cuz you're just so darn happy that their lives are working out for the best. They're moving on into life; bigger and better things await.

But it sure sucks getting left behind.

Since my first semester here, I've been losing people left and right. Thanks to little things like missions, graduations, and track assignments, every semester is different. I look back to my first semester here, how the cello studio was, who occupied my little circle of friends...and I can't believe how much it's changed.

 I look forward and I'm scared to see how much more it's going to change. Just within these next six months, I will lose two of my closest friends; both set to graduate and take off on the next adventures in their lives. Who knows how many more will follow?

But here's the part where I quit complaining, because, now that I'm looking back--and, to a certain extent, looking forward--I realize that I'm so blessed.

For one thing, all the people who have moved on from this little college-sphere still play huge roles in my life. The way I see it, you can't spend 17 or so hours out of 6 days a week together and not stay in touch, right? There are too many shared memories, too many common bonds, too much mutual respect and love. I have no doubt that, with a little bit of work on both sides, the people I am closest with now will be in my life forever.

And then there's this strange phenomenon where more people keep entering my life.
And not just any random people ---wait, let me take that back. The people in my life are most definitely random. I mean that it is not random that they were placed in my path.

You guys.
The Lord knows me and my needs so well. Every single time I've been looking forward to a semester or period of time and thinking how alone I was going to be, someone would appear. Whether it was my first Snow family or my first set of good roommates, I had people to lean on.
Sometimes it was something as simple as coming to better know someone who had always been "around." Other times, it was like I turned around and someone had literally appeared out of nowhere. Quite a few times what got me through was the random text, phone call, letter, or FB wall post from someone I don't see everyday anymore.

A friend of mine--ironically, one who has only recently become such a big part of my life these last few months, a classic example of what I'm talking about--and I were discussing this the other night. A lot of the time, you don't even realize that it's happening, but it is. You stop and think about it one day, and all of a sudden, you realize that you have a circle of friends about you that you never would have foreseen a few months ago.

And each rotation through people brings brand new experiences. Brand new personalities. Brand new ways to see the world.

So, as much as I am going to miss my friends--honestly, sometimes the thought of not having them near anymore physically aches--I know that:
A) I'll still talk to them, see them every so often. We'll still care about each other. They will still be in my life.
&
B) If you can't think of anything else, you can say that old friends leaving only makes more room for new friends to occupy.



.....Don't know where I'll be tomorrow..

But wherever it is, I know 'it' will be filled with people to get to know and love.