Hate Smurf

I went home this weekend.

There were actually a couple of good reasons to go.

1: I could see my family. (Always a win. Duh.)

2: I could see my little brother--okay, younger brother; everyone is constantly reminding me that he is a head & 1/2 taller than me--play in his high school homecoming football game.

3: It was General Conference weekend.

All good things, right?

That's how I felt; until I remembered, halfway through my first 20 minutes in Burley around Burley-ites, that I was in
 Burley, Idaho.

Sometimes I really hate that place.

(insert the obligatory gasps, shrieks, exclamations of amazement, furrowed brows, confused "Why??" here)

Maybe it's more fair to say I have an extreme love-hate relationship with that place.

It's not really a healthy relationship.

To be perfectly fair, I guess I should describe a few of the things that I don't hate--and sometimes even love--about that little town.

1. My three youngest siblings haven't--really--lived anywhere else. To them--and my next in line bro, who has lived in rural southeast Idaho since he was 4--it is home. They will most likely spend their whole lives, through high school, there.

2. My dad found a really good job, doing something he loves, and we, as a family, have definitely reaped the benefits of it.

3. Sometimes, it's nice to know pretty much everyone in town. Sometimes it's nice to be a tight-knit little community; like during my high school career when the boys' basketball team won state twice in a row, and pretty much the entire city of Burley turned up for the Championship game.

4. I'll give you this much; Southeastern Idaho has some pretty amazing sunsets

5. I love having the river so close. My family's been boating since I was about eleven and it's a special family summer tradition.

...That's all I can think of right now. If I think of more, I'll let you know.

Now for the juicier part of this post: the hatin'.

This weekend--acutally, really just everything that happened on Friday--is a pretty good example.

Burley High homecoming week.

Back in my day, the week's activities were typical and expected; dress up specials every day, a drive-in movie projected on the side of the high school wall, school Olympics where the seniors dominated every event, a faculty vs students volleyball game, homecoming queen parades and assemblies, powderpuff football games, a big bonfire after the powderpuff game, and finally, the game and dance themselves.

Oh yeah--but there were no pep rallies. No come-together community events.

There was never a guarantee that we would win our homecoming game.

There was even less of a guarantee that the home crowd--those wonderful dressed-in-green Burley-ites--would even attempt to support their football team through the duration of the game.

The band was there to promote itself; not to support the football players.

Every member of the student body was there to promote it--oops, excuse me, themselves--; not to support the football players.

Let's see how things have changed:

Dress up days, Olympics, volleyball game, homecoming queen, powderpuff football, football game, and dance?

Check check checkity check check check.

Apparently this year the school administrators decided they were not going to have a bonfire or a drive-in  movie. I don't remember what their excuses were, but what it boils down to is that the teachers didn't care enough to want to chaperone either event.

Pep rallies?

Nope.

Come-together community events?

There actually was one, thanks to the local good-for-nothing Booster Club being disbanded and a group of passionate parents stepping up to organize team dinners and pre-game tailgating.

The ever out of tune, yet ever prideful school band promoting themselves?

Check.

Dear Band Members: when performing at a special event like a homecoming football game, please do not have the arrogance to assume that it is okay for you to "warm-up" for five minutes before being "ready" to present your performance.

It's even less okay for you all to disband (heh heh, punny) during the middle of the third quarter.

The student section more interested in flirting with their equally high-school neighbor than in supporting their team?

Check.

It just ain't Burley if the small group of parents aren't louder than a supposedly "school-spirited" section of Burley High students.

And how about that good ol' Burley crowd. Were they vocal and supportive and brimming with all the good sportsmanship, class, and loyalty that is expected of a decent human being?

Don't make me laugh.

Favorite thing for Burley spectators to yell?

"Come on, you (insert appropriate mild-to-extreme cuss word here) coach!! Why aren't you doing (insert apparently genius tactical play here)??!"

It was actually quite fascinating. For a town who just this year had to shut down their chapter of Jr League Football due to lack of coaches, we certainly seem to have quite a large number of people that are apparently experts in the art of futbol americano.

Favorite thing for Burley spectators to mumble not-so-successfully to themselves?

"Well, we all knew it was gonna end like this. Another loss."

Favorite time for these oh-so-supportive spectators to make said comment?

Near the middle of the first quarter.

Favorite thing for Burley spectators to do near the end of the football game?

Get up and leave when there is anywhere between 8 and 3 minutes remaining in the game.

Favorite topics for Burley spectators to discuss during a high school football game?

The weather. Their personal lives. The BYU-USU score. The color of so-and-so's hair. The lack of color on so-and-so's hair.

What, talk about football? At a football game? Never!

Oh wait, there were several mentions made of the game. Mostly in relation to how pathetic they viewed the coach, the plays, even the players themselves.

Allow me to set aside the sarcasm for a moment. Chances are 50% of the people it was directed at missed it anyway. So let me clarify.

Dear Pathetic & Apathetic "Patrons" and "Supporters" of Burley High:

Yes. I know. It's been a while since Burley has had a winning football season. As a BHS grad and daughter of a former BHS football coach, I get it more than most.

But guess what?

You sitting on your lazy rears and spewing pessimistic filth from your all-too energetic mouths throughout a game doesn't change that. Not only does it not affect any change, it actually does more harm than good.

Try using that big mouth for good: CHEER for your team. SUPPORT the kids of your community. BE LOYAL to the man/men who have volunteered to do what none of you have dared; coach these great, hard-working kids. TRY to show a LITTLE CLASS during the game; how do we expect our team to have any level of grace or class if our own supporters-- many of whom are adults-- have very little of it themselves?

To the students of BHS who show up to every game to let themselves be seen in the student section:

Yes, you look very nice. That bump in your hair is astronomical. Literally.

That green tutu and those incredibly short shorts certainly display your personality without you even having to open your mouth.

And your costume make-up is very--oh. That's what you wear every day?

.....

My bad.

Anyway, on to my point: Do you know what the student section is typically used for? Nooo, it isn't a place to gather and discuss the latest gossip. It isn't even a place for you to spend all your effort flirting with that one guy/girl whom you are desperately in love with.

Nope.

The student section at any athletic event is usually used as a place where the team's peers can show their support for their classmates.

Ground-breaking, I know.

Words cannot even describe how absolutely appalled I was Friday night. I'm sure my face was literally a rather good strawberry color as I listened to all the many despicable comments around me.

Oh!

To the particularly vile sir who was sitting a few seats behind me and to my left: you are rather fortunate it isn't socially acceptable to roundhouse kick someone in the face at a community event.

I really shouldn't be surprised.

In a town where who you are related to counts more than what sort of person you are...

Where volleyball coaches keep only 7 players on their team to feed their own ego...

Where football coaches/PE teachers/student mentors decide to skip town because they didn't feel they were getting the proper amount of deity-equivalent respect for their minimal effort...

Where city council meetings are more often mud-slinging affairs pitting old rivals against each other in never-ending, ancient grudges...

Where failing teachers/coaches/Athletic Directors are fired, then rehired for who knows what reason...

Where band performance majors are hired to teach an already struggling string program...

Where superintendents have very little interest in doing what's best for the students under their care...

Where racism isn't only tolerated, but bred into many of the members of the community...

Where my hard-working, honest, good parents have had thousands of dollars stolen by a former Sherriff's Deputy/lowlife who had the nerve to attempt to counter-sue and then declare "bankruptcy"...

Where my father's working partners have shown themselves to be greedy little horrors who would just as soon screw him over for a payoff for themselves as write their own generous paycheck...

Where my siblings-and I-are constantly used to raise failing ESL tests merely because, with our last name, the school can get away with padding the scores...

Where people my mother had considered friends allow my siblings to wander off under their care, or pretend to be best buds whilst simultaneously plotting to throw her under the bus...

Where loyalty is as foreign a concept as driving on the other side of the road...

...I really shouldn't be surprised at such a little thing like lack of class, loyalty, or support at a high school homecoming football game.

Yeah, yeah: as my mother would say, I'm totally "hate-smurfing" right now.

But, let's be honest, I warned you in the title. You knew what you were walking into.

Now for a little fairness.

I know not all members of the Burley community are as depicted in this post. I am also aware that there are many good things about that small Southeastern Idaho town.

Sometimes it's just hard to see through all the negative.

A thousand million units of credit and support to my parents, who are making the best of things and trying to do what they can to change the stubborn, archaic, irritating habits of that town.

I don't know how much you can do, but I know something will be all the better for your attempt.

As for me, I'll be working on a better attitude...

...and looking into the cost of living somewhere outside of Idaho.