Let me introduce you to one of my favorite people in the whole wide world. I first met Mike Merrill my first semester, in a science class, actually, though we're both music majors. Through the Snow building and mutual friends, Mike and I have grown closer, until he is now one of my greatest friends.
There are a lot of things that I love about Mike; he's a very talented musician, he's got a great sense of humor; The Penguin Dream (if you don't know what I'm talking about, ask him. it's quite epic); and he is probably one of the best guys I know.
Here's a great example of just how awesome he is.
If you just read that blogpost without knowing Mike, you might think, "Oh, yeah, sure..this guy's just talking big to impress girls..." Well, I can tell you that is absolutely not the case. I know Mike. I know him well, and I can tell you he practices what he preaches daily.
Hopefully you all went and read that blogpost, because, honestly, the whole thing is just great, but I'm going to highlight a few of the things I love the most, and, if I may, add a few of my own opinions.
"Ladies, you ARE beautiful. You don't need to worry yourselves about what you look like. As men we really do appreciate it when you get all dolled up for us. We recognize that it takes a lot of effort and yes, you do look very pretty when you do so. But you know when else you look just as pretty? When we're out throwing a Frisbee in the parking lot after being on a bus for seven hours and your hair isn't quite in the same placement as you intended; When you're exhausted from working so hard in your studies and however many jobs you're working to make ends meet at college; When you decide to not "put your face on" that day because you were up all night taking care of a sick roommate and you just don't care. The list goes on..."
So much to love about this particular paragraph. I mean, let's be honest, we all know those girls who refuse to leave the house without makeup on. The ones who feel like they have to have at least a pound of makeup on their face in order to appear beautiful to the general public. The ones who get "dolled up" just to go to the swimming pool. The sad thing is that the biggest reason these girls are like this is because they feel like no one will look at or like them; that guys will ignore them because they don't find them attractive.
Now, I'm not going to be all idealistic and say that every guy looks beyond the surface, because we've all known enough jerks to know that that's not true, but you know what the cool thing is? I genuinely believe Mike is telling the truth. Girls. We don't have to wear a ton of makeup in order to be pretty, and guys? Go ahead and appreciate a prettily made-up face; but don't forget to look beyond.
"Be sweet, but not ditsy. Be assertive, but not manipulating. Be patient, but not blind. Let us open doors for you - we're not patronizing you, but rather trying to show you courtesy. Don't come out to meet us for a date if we honk our car in your driveway or text you that we're here. Acknowledge our efforts when we're doing something right - we're secretly more self-conscious then you may sometimes realize. Please don't get upset if we don't pick up on your hints - guys don't speak in hints. We just slug each other. Let us know openly when we're doing something wrong. And please, PLEASE realize that just because he asks does NOT mean that you have to say "yes."
You know, it's sad--and kind of frightening-- how very few girls realize that there is a definite line between "sweet" and "ditsy." It's okay to be funny, but what value is there in pretending you are stupider than you really are? How can we expect men to respect us when girls are acting--yes, acting--like total airheads to get attention? It's not really that charming--in fact, to those of us who aren't "caught up in the moment" and are actually using our sensible minds, it's rather annoying.
I could never believe girls actually let guys get away with honking from the driveway for a date--until I actually watched one of my roommates go down to meet a date after he texted her to let her know he was there. Girls. Come on. If any guy tries to pick you up for a date in any other manner than actually walking to the door and ringing the bell, don't go.
Now we come to a very often discussed topic: Door Opening.
"[Girls,] Let us open doors for you - we're not patronizing you, but rather trying to show you courtesy."
"[Men,] Open doors for girls - it doesn't make you a wimp."
1. Men? Open doors for women. Just do it. It's polite, it's chivalrous, it shows courtesy. It's not a hard thing to do. It doesn't mean you have a special interest in the girl--although if you do have a special interest in a girl, you darn well better be opening doors for her! You wanna know something interesting? I'm pretty sure that the only reason a man opening a door for a woman is seen as something "special" is because it doesn't happen often enough any more! Think of it. If every man opened a door for any woman, no matter who she is--stranger, casual acquaintance, friend, girlfriend, fiancee, or wife--it wouldn't be seen as having such a "special" meaning. Oh, and PS? We like it when you open doors for us. We respect you for it. If you're not interested in us specifically, you should know that we will probably go home and brag about your good manners to all of our roommates and other female friends, and you never know which one of them you may be interested in-- I don't really see how you can lose...
2. Ladies? Let them open doors for you. Don't be obnoxious about it, but let them do it. It doesn't mean you're weak--we all know you can manage to open a silly little door all by yourself. Please believe me; it's a sign of respect that they open the doors, not a lack thereof. Also, the next most important thing? Thank them when they do. I have actually heard from quite a few guys that they get frustrated opening doors for girls who don't even give a simple "thanks." Here's something else to consider: as I mentioned earlier, too often I think doors aren't held because both sides are worried about the "way it might look." So, girls? If we expect guys to forget that social stigma, we have to do our part as well; don't act silly or make a big deal out of it. Say a simple, but sincere, thank you, and move on.
I really think everyone should read Mike's blogpost. It definitely addresses a lot of issues that aren't talked about much, but that everyone should be made aware of. "Chivalry isn't dead--it's just not required anymore." I think this is something we can change, and something that, if changed, will benefit our society greatly.
Well done, Mike. Very well done. :)
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