...that my thoughts undo me..."
(Josh Groban, Bells of New York City)
So. Thanks to BYU-I and it's lovely plan of assigning every student a "track," I get to spend January-April of every year (that I'm in college, anyway) back in Burley, Idaho.
..
...
Yay.
Ok, that sounds a little harsh. I do absolutely love being home to hang with my family. They are pretty much awesome and some of my best friends. Plus, it's so great to be home for little things like Rowan losing one of her front teeth (the little gap-smile? adorable). And it is really nice to have a little break from all the crazy stress that school brings. And I guess Burley isn't that bad of a place...
Haha.
But it is hard being here. I know, I know, I sound like a whiner, and maybe I am, but it's my blog, I'm allowed to whine a little, aren't I?---well, just hear me out.
Pretty much everyone who graduated with me (or before me) is gone: gone to school or on a mission or to work in a different town. And, okay, I'll be completely honest: there are very few people from my high school with whom I have tried to maintain a close relationship. Don't get me wrong: I still like and associate with these people, I just haven't kept as close with them since graduation. So, even if they were here, I probably wouldn't be seeing them very often. Even if I were....well.... I really miss my friends from school (college school, not high school). I have found some of my best friends--for real best friends, not the imitations I had in high school --up at college, and I miss them a lot when I'm away from campus on my off-track. Like...it's hard to describe, I guess.
And, you know, last year wasn't as bad, because I had one of the few people I'm still close with from high school home with me...but, um, he had to leave the country "for religious reasons" :) -- Shoutout to Elder Searle in Brasilia!! :) -- and I don't know if you know this, but Brazil is a very long way away.
Plus...orchestra.
While I'm home, I've been playing with the "Magic Valley Philharmonic;" the community orchestra. And when I say "community orchestra" I really mean community orchestra.
Ok. If I weren't such a music snob, I would be able to more clearly see this organization as a good thing for this area. It's great that we are able to have any kind of orchestra in this tiny little town. It is. It's just...
The orchestra is mostly made up of older people who have been in the orchestra since it started (or about..) and the high school kids from the area who want a little extra experience (or, as I've noticed by the incredible number of Minico kids, have been offered extra credit or something by their teacher). Don't get me wrong, that's wonderful, but....
Oi. I'm going to sound like such a stuck up snob right now.
After playing with a collegiate level orchestra (a pretty darn good one at that!) going back to a community orchestra, that plays mostly simplified arrangements that are generally played in high school, is frustrating and hard. I mean, one can only hear Mozart slaughtered so many times!!! And it's really too bad that oftentimes the members of this orchestra are more worried about making sure the chairs are all exactly in the right spot, or the politics of who sits where and who's in charge, than how well the pieces are played, how beautifully the songs are performed.
I guess one way to sum it up is that I've never missed being the worst in my section so badly before. Haha. That sounds bad, but do you know what I mean? I miss being in a cello section (and an orchestra) who are dedicated, who work hard, who are better than me, so I can learn and grow. It kinda sucks being the best one in this type of orchestra. (Again, sounds SUPER stuck up, but I'm really not trying to mean it that way. Let's put it this way; I'm the only college music student in the local orchestra. There. Better?) I can't tell you how many times I leave the high school's orchestra room after Philharmonic missing my orchestra at school so much it hurts.
Anyway. For a while now, I have been STARVING for some real music; real, good music, that isn't being slaughtered by an apathetic orchestra. I have basically been begging Naomi for a list of the concerts this semester since winter break began, and she, of course, complied. I put all of the dates in my phone, but, I'll admit, kind of forgot about them for a while, thinking that many of them were in the middle of the week and how difficult it might be to get away for that short of time.
Then, this past Tuesday, I kinda snapped. Haha. Don't worry, I didn't go crazy or anything, I was just so...I don't know how to describe it. Anyway, I was looking at the list again, and suddenly decided: I was going to Rexburg for the Thursday night Symphony concert. Just like that. Bought the ticket, facebook'd Naomi, texted Kelly to see if I could sleep on our old couch, & let my parents know. Done and done.
And, oh, was it SO COMPLETELY worth it. :)
Over at musictennisandfishycrackers.blogspot.com, I talked about the musical aspect of things. In this blog, I'm focusing on the more personal stuff, so all I'll say about the musical details was that IT WAS AWESOME. I pretty much sat through the whole concert with a huge, goofy grin on my face. It was that good. So incredibly musically satisfying.
You know, it's always fun to see a brilliant performance, but I think there's an added sort of special-ness when the performance is being given by people you know and, for the most part, love. I mean, it just adds so much to the exprience when you know the conductor so well-- as a conductor, as a musician, and as a person. It was also way fun to be able to watch my friends who were playing, because 9 times out of 10 I could pretty much guess what was going on in their heads. :)
After the concert, I made my way back to the locker hall to see people who I have been missing since December :) I tell you what, the greetings I got as soon as I rounded the corner into the locker hall made up for all the months of Burley loneliness. It was just so nice to be back in that place, with that atmopshere, around people who (generally) think the same way I do.
Let me give a little rundown of how things went, who I talked to, etc, etc.
- Ran into Kelly R, who excitedly told me that she was going to be around for spring semester (YAY!)
- Talked for a while with Maryn, Clarie & Sis Tueller
- Briefly saw Spencer, Richard & Kellen
- Naomi & Colin found me and chatted for a while; they left pretty early, cuz it was Naomi's birthday and Colin wasn't feeling well (HAPPY BIRTHDAY, again, NAOMI! & hope you feel better, Colin)
- Made my way back to the locker hall where I was greeted by Kristan, Stephen, Mike, Dallin, John, Heather, Daniel, & Matt. Super excited to hear that Kristan got her mission call and that both Daniel & Matt would be around for spring semester
- While talking with these people, Dallin sneaked up behind me and scared me to death with a didgeridoo. Same old, same old.
- Okay, maybe the didgeridoo was new.
- Talked with Bro Tueller for a while. Found out we're playing Beethoven 5 for spring semester and reaffirmed that my cello teacher is so great :)
- After laughing myself blue with a huge group of Snow-dwellers, found myself giggling-like-a-drunk with Kristan, Dan, & Matt on our way to Dan's car to meet Sarah C, Caitlin, & Missy at Winger's.
- Eating, talking, laughing with Dan, Matt, Kristan, Caitlin & Missy. I'm sure the Winger's waiters hated us.
- Went back to my old apartment & caught up with Kelly S and Boyfriend (Kelly's boyfriend) before finally falling asleep at about 2 in the morning
- Woke up at 7, registered for classes
- Met Naomi at the Snow; had a good open chat, like I always expect (and look forward to) with her :)
- Saw my "cuz" Helen for probably the last time (at least for a while), since she's headed on a mission sometime during spring semester
- Said goodbye to the Snow building for a few more weeks and drove home
So incredibly worth it. The amazing music alone should be enough to get me through these remaining months; seeing my friends and having such a blast will most definitely help get me there.
I love being home. I love being at school. I have my schedule/life in both places. It's the transitions that are hard.
So if I can just hang tight until April and get through that week or so of adjustment, life is going to be great.
Meanwhile, I'm keeping a running total of how many times I sub Nursery/Sunbeams..........
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